A Little Small Town Girl, Who Changed Her Mind
- Nov 16, 2017
- 4 min read
Do you feel like you still haven’t figured out what your passion is? What about never feeling satisfied in where you are in life? Have you ever thought that you could be doing more? Or something different? Well, my name is Amber, and welcome to my brain. No seriously, unless you could answer “yes” to one of the several questions listed above, I cannot begin to explain to you how frustrating it is to constantly be searching for the perfect something when it comes to employment; the perfect job, decent management to work for, coworkers who are cool shit, and so on. I have had this uncomfortable, unbearable feeling inside of me for quite some time now—and it all stems from not being satisfied with where I was at in life. I’d get a new job and hate it after 3 months. I’d buy a new car, only to be back at the dealership 1.5 years later to get something different. I felt as though I’d be impulsively and foolishly be spending money and changing my mind every other gosh darn day and still be unsatisfied with nearly everything . Only being 24 (almost 25) years old, I can already hear the older and wiser population lecturing at me—“you’re sooooo young. You don’t need to know your passion, you’ve got so much time!! Just stay at your job—that’s what you went to school for!” Yeah, you’re telling me?! I know I went to school for X, Y, and Z, but don’t you have the right to change your mind?
I want everyone who’s reading to know that I went to school and graduated with a double major in Social Work and Sociology. I even went on to get my substance abuse license after that. I love helping others and making them feel loved, wanted, and cared for. It wasn’t until recently when I realized, it wasn’t my PASSION that I was searching for—I already knew what that was. What I was searching for was the right type of work to fit my needs and wants. But do you know how crappy it is to be working in that field for 3 years now and not feeling what you thought you were “supposed to”? Maybe you do—but I know that feeling most definitely. It’s reallllly crappy to have spent 1,000’s of dollars and hours on schooling, sweat and tears, to not be ‘feeling it.’ And that is how Oak Tree Boutique originated, people!!! A little small town girl, who changed her mind. And that’s okay—but to be honest, as I’m writing this, I feel as though I am still trying to convince myself that what I AM doing is okay…? But do you know what makes me still want to move forward with this decision and completely take another path in life? It’s finding the exact SAME passion in something completely different than originally decided upon. I can still help people, make themselves feel loved, cared for, and worthy—Just in a different way. I can make myself feel good about the work I do, no matter what “field” of work I decide to take on. My passion, personality, and drive go wherever I go. I am beginning to live my life the way I want to. Not by what family, friends, enemies, and everyone in between thinks it should be. I feel that if we all keep living life like we’re “supposed to” or comparing where others are at in life, than we’re all living for the wrong reasons.
Your passion is for YOU. Your passion is not fueled by the bystanders of your life. The people around you might not “get it.” And you know what? That’s okay too. We should never—I repeat—NEVER ignore what makes our hearts beat 100 miles a minute. We should never let our fear of failure prohibit us from reaching our never ending goals. Never ignore the feelings of passion that are embedded in you and that you can’t seem to escape from. It means something. And the only way to figure out what those feelings mean, is to get out there and take risks. Take on challenges that seem almost impossible or for “someone else” to accomplish. I was tired of seeing my peers and others appearing like they have these awesome, fulfilling, EXTRAVAGANT lives and I was just over here as the girl who always said she’d never come back to this small, lame hometown and HERE I AM! Well you know what I think about that now? Although my branches have been broken in two, every leaf carried away, and my limbs shaken; I’ve had roots stretched in this earth here; growing strong since my birth. No one will ever touch those roots, as they are the deepest part of me. No one will ever have the capability of routing my life for me, except for me. Until recently I wasn’t sure of just how much I could endure it this life, until I took a risk and decided to do what makes me happy and continue my passion down another path—and that’s okay.
-xoxo, Amber.
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